During my time as a travel and lifestyle blogger, I have always admired any woman over the age of 60 seeking out solo travel adventures. I think my first experience with solo travel was embarking on a media trip to Japan in 2016 when I was still in my 50s. This was followed by joining a women's travel group to the island of Bali in 2019. Both travel experiences gave me a sense of freedom and elation. I loved the concept of travelling solo, but with the security of being in a group of like-minded women
Solo women's travel for over 60s is certainly not something new. As I've discovered, many women are trailblazers in experiencing the joys of travel after a certain age. They have simply thought "stuff it, I'm not waiting around for someone to travel with, I'm going to do it on my own". When you finally come to this conclusion it can be one of the most liberating and self-satisfying things that you will ever experience in your life.
I remember when I set off on my very first solo adventure to Japan in 2016, how fearful I was of the risks of travelling solo. However, this was not the case. I discovered that I was totally in control of negotiating all of the requirements to get to my destination safely without mishap.
There were a lot of things to be fearful of during my first time flying solo. It was more of a case of who is going to help me and support me if I do get into trouble. However, I was soon to discover that:
1. I felt a sense of liberation and "I'm in control now and I need to show up".
2. It forced me to prepare, plan and ensure that every detail had been covered.
3. It made me realise that there is so much more to see in the world.
4. It opened my eyes to new adventures and cultural experiences.
5. It gave me a thirst to explore more.
6. It made me step out of my comfort zone.
Going it alone is not easy for a lot of people. Many of us are co-dependent and accustomed to having a partner with us when we travel. However, in my case I was always the instigator and organiser for many of the holidays with my ex-husband. I guess as a travel writer and a former admin assistant, I already possessed some of the skills. There are many advantages to travelling solo, including:
When I think about most women in my age group, I can classify them into a couple of different categories:
1. Women that are still controlled totally by their husbands or partners and are never involved in making decisions about travel. They just go along with whatever their husbands decide. In some cases this means they never go anywhere beyond their own countries. They are very hesitant to travel solo, because their husbands control them.
2. Women who will travel with other woman as long as they don't have to make the arrangements. They are too frightened to look outside the square and generally will stick fairly close to home. In a lot of cases this is a lack of confidence and ability to know where to even start organising a trip.
3. Women who love the concept of solo travel but feel much more comfortable travelling in a group. I have a very good friend who does this and she is an amazing world traveller. She's hiked the Camino de Santiago, trekked in Sapa in Vietnam and Machu Picchu in Peru.
4. Women who throw caution to the wind and set off on world adventures on their ownsome. I know several women that have motorhomes and set off regularly seeing their own country. There are other women, like myself, that enjoy solo travel because we're not waiting around for a travel companion.
Stepping out of your comfort zone once you reach midlife is not easy. There are so many ingrained beliefs that we're not capable. We're not worthy. We're not brave enough. We're not allowed to let go and enjoy our lives!
I was one of these midlife women stuck in the mindset that I needed a husband, a travel buddy or a girlfriend to travel with. I told myself I would be lonely, I would be challenged and I would be afraid. But you know what? I proved all of these preconceived notions wrong.
I saw this quote recently:
"The first half of life is about becoming who you needed to be to survive. The second half is about unravelling everything that no longer aligns with your soul's purpose. That's not a midlife crisis - it's a rebirth". ~ Ella Hicks.
It was explained to me by a health professional that once a women's body is depleted of estrogen we lose our nurturing instincts and we begin to look outwards towards other forms of fulfilment. I can certainly identify with the feeling of not wanting to settle for a mundane life. I think beyond our mothering and working years we seek more excitement and self-fulfilment.
Part of our "rebirth" involves the urge to try new interests and travel to exotic destinations. I remember that feeling of excitement on my first solo overseas trip. It was actually terrifying but also extremely liberating. I felt so proud of myself for daring to venture into the unknown. Once I successfully completed my first solo trip I wanted to do it all again.
If we choose as women to settle for the mundane and never dare to step outside our comfort zones then I feel it can lead to discontent and frustration. I compare it to not trying the "forbidden fruit" and then dying wondering what that would have tasted like. It's not about being brave and adventurous, it's about making life happen. It's about looking at ways at improving your lifestyle and then taking positive steps to make it a reality.
If travel overseas is far beyond your comfort zone, then travel within your own country first, or jump on one of those short cruise holidays that sails to the South Pacific Islands. Baby steps are always the best way to go when you're not confident.
We have all heard about women over the age of 60 that have trained for and run a marathon, sailed solo on a yacht across the oceans, or jumped from a plane with a parachute. These are brave and inspirational women without a doubt. But when a woman of my age says she's going to travel solo on a train trip around France or turns up to a holiday resort in Vietnam alone. People often ask the question "why are you alone?" or "where's your partner?" Would a man of the same age be asked this question? Of course not!
So why is it that as a woman you are written off of as being incapable of taking care of yourself after you turn 60. Like we're geriatric grannies who have lost their marbles! Despite our aged appearances, I believe that most of we 60 something year olds are more than competent at planning and booking holidays. My question is "what's so difficult about it?"
Society has dictated that it's probably not advisable to travel on your own when you're of a certain age because it's not safe. But, I personally feel there are no limitations to age and your ability to do whatever you set your mind to. Just ask those women who have run a marathon or jumped out of a plane. I'm sure they would confirm this.
My belief is that these are our golden years. We need to make good use of them and never ever say we're too old! My motto is to "make hay while the sun shines" and throw caution to the wind. I don't want to die wondering.
