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33 Lessons I’ve Learnt After 33 Years of Marriage

  • October 4, 2018
  • By 50 Shades
  • 28 Comments
33 Lessons I’ve Learnt After 33 Years of Marriage

As many of you are aware, my son recently married his beautiful fiancee. It was the perfect day and I can only wish that he enjoys a long and happy marriage, as I have with his father. As next month marks my 33rd wedding anniversary, I thought it was only apt to reveal 33 lessons I’ve learnt after 33 years of marriage.

33 Lessons I've Learnt From 33 Years of Marriage

33 years! Who would have thought? How can you be married to the same man for such a long length of time and still be sane? Our journey together hasn’t always been perfect and there have been many swerves and bumps along the way, but we’re still together. This, I think is the main thing!

33 Marriage Tips after 33 years of marriage

Lessons for a successful Marriage

  1.  Marriage is always work in progress.
  2.  It takes two to make a marriage work.
  3.  After the romance wears off your spouse becomes your best friend.
  4.  Trust in a marriage is integral.
  5.  Overlook the small things that annoy you about your spouse.
  6.  Own two TVs – a his and hers.
  7.  When your spouse offers to help with household chores don’t criticise his effort.
  8.  Have your own separate interests but also have some that you share.
  9.  Make time for date nights and celebrate special occasions together.
  10.  Always back one another up when it comes to making decisions about your children.
  11.  Be kind to one another.
  12.  Show affection by giving and receiving hugs and kisses.
  13.  Teach your spouse how to cook simple meals and how to do laundry.
  14.  Make sure your marriage is an equal partnership.
  15.  Admit when you’re wrong and move on.
  16.  After a disagreement or fight, forgive and forget.
  17.  Go on separate holidays once in a while (as absence makes the heart grow fonder!)
  18.  Take an interest in one another’s work and hobbies.
  19.  Don’t be too possessive and over-demanding.
  20.  Draw up a household budget together and try to stick to it.
  21.  Accept his in-laws and mates, warts and all!
  22.  Make an effort to keep yourself well-groomed and reasonably attired.
  23.  Help one another with diet and exercise so that you can grow healthy and old together.
  24.  Be there in time of need for one another.
  25.  Be prepared to be a listening post once in a while.
  26.  Always be honest and truthful, (except when he asks you how much your new shoes cost!)
  27.  Make time for intimacy. Sex in a marriage is very important.
  28.  Make sure you know your financial situation and how to manage it.
  29.  Always have something to look forward to as a couple, like a holiday or a night out.
  30.  Be spontaneous sometimes! Mix it up a bit to add a bit of spice to your marriage.
  31.  Don’t try to understand his male traits – they are a different species!
  32.  Set a good example for your children. Your marriage will reflect on their future happiness.
  33.  LOVE, LAUGH and LET GO!

I will leave you with a couple of my favourite marriage quotes:

Marriage is a relationship where one person is always right and the other one is the husband!

 

33 Lessons I've Learnt After 33 Years of Marriage

Do you have any tips for a successful marriage? I would love to hear them.

This post is part of the Lovin’ Life Linky with a Lovin’ Life Team of the “ageing positively” kind who are as keen as I am to promote the Lovin’ Life mindset.

The Lovin’ Life Team includes:

Lyndall from SEIZE THE DAY PROJECT
Deb from DEBBISHDOTCOM
Min from WRITE OF THE MIDDLE.
Leanne from DEEP FRIED FRUIT
Jo from JOANNE TRACEY
and of course me, Kathy from 50 SHADES OF AGE


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By 50 Shades, October 4, 2018 Kathy was a 50 something year old when she started up this blog 6 years ago, but has since turned over another decade and is now in her early 60s. She is married with two adult children and lives on the Tweed Coast of New South Wales, Australia. Kathy enjoys living life to the fullest and loves to keep fit and active by maintaining a healthy diet and exercising regularly. Some of her interests include reading, photography, travelling, cooking and blogging! Kathy works part-time as a freelance writer but her real passion is travelling and photographing brilliant destinations both within Australia and overseas and writing about it.
  • 28

50 Shades

Kathy was a 50 something year old when she started up this blog 6 years ago, but has since turned over another decade and is now in her early 60s. She is married with two adult children and lives on the Tweed Coast of New South Wales, Australia. Kathy enjoys living life to the fullest and loves to keep fit and active by maintaining a healthy diet and exercising regularly. Some of her interests include reading, photography, travelling, cooking and blogging! Kathy works part-time as a freelance writer but her real passion is travelling and photographing brilliant destinations both within Australia and overseas and writing about it.

28 Comments
  • jodie
    October 4, 2018

    This is such great advice, Kathy. Except the shoe price thing…I have to tell him the truth because he sees all the receipts…ha ha!!!
    XOXO
    Jodie
    http://www.jtouchofstyle.com

    • Kathy
      October 4, 2018

      That’s the good thing about having your own credit card! Maybe that should be tip #34. #TeamLovinLife

  • Min @ Write of the Middle
    October 4, 2018

    Fantastic points and I agree with every one! How cute were you in your wedding photo! I think we are the same marriage vintage cos we were married in January 1985 so 33 years also! #TeamLovinLife

    • Kathy
      October 4, 2018

      Oh the 80s! Taffeta, puffy sleeves, big hair and shoulder pads. Secretly I hope these wonderful fashion trends never come back into vogue.

  • Pinky Poinker
    October 4, 2018

    Great tips Kathy. I think no. 16 is especially important!

    • Kathy
      October 4, 2018

      Yes learning the art of forgiveness is a tough one, but it does help if one person is willing to give in! Mind you it’s normally my husband that gives in. #TeamLovinLife

  • Natalie
    October 4, 2018

    Great advice, Kathy. Congrats on your 33rd wedding anniversary next month! It’s a special occassion. #teamlovinlife

    • Kathy
      October 4, 2018

      33 years seems like a lifetime, but I would do it all again in a blink. I’ve had such a wonderful life. #TeamLovinLife

  • Joanne Tracey
    October 4, 2018

    Great tips. I think the occasional separate break is important but the one that absolutely can’t be overlooked is 28. Congratulations!

    • Kathy
      October 4, 2018

      I know a few women who have absolutely no idea of their financial situation and one in particular got really burnt after her marriage disintegrated. I think this is a no brainer.

  • budget jan
    October 4, 2018

    You’ve nailed it as usual Kathy!

    • Kathy
      October 4, 2018

      Thank you Jan. Marriage is complicated and takes a lot of work from both parties. #TeamLovinLife

  • Melissa@All Around Oz
    October 4, 2018

    Great advice Kathy. We’ve been together for 22 years and married for 17 years and I can honestly say Brenden is my best friend. We rarely exchange so much as a cross word. Perhaps that’s because he’s spent half his working life away from us and it’s hard to argue on the phone!

    • Kathy
      October 4, 2018

      That is so heart warming Mel. As I’ve grown older my husband has become my best friend too. #TeamLovinLife

  • Leanne
    October 4, 2018

    Congrats on the upcoming anniversary Kathy – we’re at 35.5 years and still going strong (despite all the ups and downs that you mentioned!) I loved all your lessons because they’re real and they are all about doing life together in a way that values the other person. I read marriage tips from people who’ve been married for 5 minutes and roll my eyes because they haven’t had to push through the tough times or the tedious times or the done enough time together to really understand what it’s all about. I hope you get to have another 33 years together (and that your son and DIL do too) xx

    • Kathy
      October 4, 2018

      That’s fantastic Leanne. I think we both know how much work goes into making a successful marriage. Let’s hope we get to spend many more years with our partners in crime. #TeamLovinLife

  • Christine
    October 4, 2018

    Congratulations on the wedding! Wonderful times. Love the advice, and especially your quote at the end. And don’t forget – Happy wife, happy life!!

    • Kathy
      October 4, 2018

      Thank you Christine. If you ask my husband he would agree with your quote! #TeamLovinLife

  • Denyse
    October 4, 2018

    Yes. I loved this. Congratulations to you both and to your son and new D-I-L. We chalk up 48 years in January, and separate TVs and beds (yes!) have helped us enormously. My husband has quite a few chronic health issues and he is far more comfy in his bed (and room) as I am. We are each other’s best friends but we also have separate interests and take time away from each other as we are retired 24/7. Love and respect as well as trust are the keys for us and I could not imagine any other person with me, especially as I am traversing cancer and its treatments.
    Denyse x

    • Kathy
      October 4, 2018

      Wow 48 years is amazing! It is heart warming to hear that you are best friends with your husband. #TeamLovinLife

  • Deborah
    October 5, 2018

    I’m not married obviously but think most of these are the same for any relationship – friendships and those with family.

    I certainly appreciate my relationships more as I get older (and value the ones that are meaningful).

  • Janet Camilleri aka Middle Aged Mama
    October 5, 2018

    I love that first quote … marriage is just two imperfect people who refuse to give up on each other. Beautiful. As is your marriage! Congratulations on 33 years and now seeing your son happily wed x

    • Kathy
      October 7, 2018

      Thank you Janet. As I said it’s always work in progress, but we’ve lasted the distance for sure! #TeamLovinLife

  • Johanna
    October 15, 2018

    I loved the pic of your wedding day – so beautiful. I also enjoyed the last quote about the wife always being right – whatever guise that takes – LOL! Congratulations on 33 years, and what a lovely wedding your son had too.

    • Kathy
      October 16, 2018

      Thanks Jo. My son’s wedding was a perfect day for an even more perfect couple. 33 years is a big achievement these days, so I’m happy that I’ve hung in there thus far! The wife is always right!! #TeamLovinLife

  • Life Images by Jill
    October 17, 2018

    Happy Anniversary. And best wishes to your son and his new wife. I love your list. Marriage is certainly a partnership – and with any partnership there are bound to be bumps along the way. One other point- never go to bed angry with each other. Here’s to another 33 Kathy!

    • Kathy
      October 18, 2018

      Thank you Jill. Officially our wedding anniversary isn’t until next month. Our son and his beautiful new wife are a very well-suited couple and I think they will form a wonderful partnership. I think partnership is a great word to describe a successful marriage. Hopefully we will both keep enjoying our partnership. #TeamLovinLife

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