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Signs That your Kids Are Finally Grown-ups

  • March 13, 2015
  • By 50 Shades
  • 18 Comments

 

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Successful parenting is about rearing successful children. We all hope that one day our little chickens will fly the coop and flutter off into the world and be able to survive out there without too much intervention on our behalf.

Ok, I admit it, sometimes it is difficult to let go! There is a delicate balance between wanting to control every aspect of your children’s lives and letting them be completely independent. They say the last task that we should perform for our children is letting them go. I now realise that I absolutely suck at this! I am the all-enduring mother hen!

We have made it plain to both our children, that once they graduate from university financial support from us comes to a halt. That is what my parents did for me and I’m grateful for it. We also expected them to pay board to help out with the cost of food, rates and household maintenance when they lived at home. However, it was pointed out to us on several occasions that they were “the only ones living at home that pay board”. Well I say boo hoo to that!

I still want my children to be able to come to us for advice and I try not to be too judgmental when it comes to giving it out. There is nothing worse than the old “I told you that would happen” or “you should have listened to me”. But regardless of that, we can always be there to listen and give helpful hints but we can’t always fix their problems.

We want our children to make it on their own while understanding that we will always be there for them during the hard times– or when they just need to get something off their chest. We will also be there to help change a car battery, make them a chicken soup when they are sick and help them move house a zillion times.

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There appears to be a transitional phase in going from being a parent to a child, to a parent of an adult. I think that there are definite signs once you arrive at this point in your life, when you can proudly say “my kids are all grown up”, and these signs are:

1.  When you visit their place, they actually spend a few hours tidying up and changing the sheets on their bed before you arrive.

2.  They invite you out for coffee or lunch and they actually pay!

3.  They show interest in domestic chores like separating whites from colours in their laundry, ironing shirts, cooking a favourite meal and perfecting the sheet corners on their bed.

4.  They cook you dinner from scratch. In other words not a frozen pizza, two minute noodles or nachos.

5.  They shout you a drink at a Bar and actually enjoy your company.

6.  They finally have their mobile phones on their own plans.

7.  They pay back money they owe you within a reasonable time.

8.  They say they are over nightclubbing/binge-drinking/rap music/one night stands/very short mini -skirts/sky-scraper shoes!

9.  They pronounce they are only eating healthy from now on.

10. They get their own health insurance.

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I am proud to say that we are finally at this phase in our lives and our son and daughter are financially independent of us and paying their own way in the world. When your son comes home with a thank you card and a couple of ‘scratchies’ for being a ‘good mum’  or your daughter shouts you a coffee when you are out shopping together, you think to yourself “I have been a successful parent”.

What do you think? Are your adult children on their way or got to the stage of being financially independent?

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By 50 Shades, March 13, 2015 Kathy was a 50 something year old when she started up this blog 6 years ago, but has since turned over another decade and is now in her early 60s. She is married with two adult children and lives on the Tweed Coast of New South Wales, Australia. Kathy enjoys living life to the fullest and loves to keep fit and active by maintaining a healthy diet and exercising regularly. Some of her interests include reading, photography, travelling, cooking and blogging! Kathy works part-time as a freelance writer but her real passion is travelling and photographing brilliant destinations both within Australia and overseas and writing about it.
  • 18

50 Shades

Kathy was a 50 something year old when she started up this blog 6 years ago, but has since turned over another decade and is now in her early 60s. She is married with two adult children and lives on the Tweed Coast of New South Wales, Australia. Kathy enjoys living life to the fullest and loves to keep fit and active by maintaining a healthy diet and exercising regularly. Some of her interests include reading, photography, travelling, cooking and blogging! Kathy works part-time as a freelance writer but her real passion is travelling and photographing brilliant destinations both within Australia and overseas and writing about it.

18 Comments
  • Sharon Greenthal
    December 8, 2013

    While my kids are grown, they haven’t quite reached this level of adulthood…I’m looking forward to it!

    • Kathy
      December 8, 2013

      Yes only another 12 months of the youngest at university, then freedom for us! Both of our kids are fairly independent thankfully although there has been a lot of boomeranging back and forward to our home. When the day comes that they finally move out for good we will be celebrating!

  • batteredhope
    December 8, 2013

    I am happy to say that it gets better. My kids are now parents and they treat me like royalty. When I visit my daughter I have to sneak around if I want to help her because she just wants to cater to me. So, if your kids are that wonderful to you now — I assure you, it will only get better. So nice to know we did good, right?

    • Kathy
      December 8, 2013

      That is nice to know. I am waiting for that day when they wait on me for a change. They always say that kids don’t know what it is like to be a parent until they experience it themselves. And yes it is reassuring to know that your kids have turned out great!

  • Johanna
    March 13, 2015

    Your beautiful brood didn’t fall far from the tree – you can be very proud of them :) Yes, it’s a lovely stage to be at, I think I’m almost there too, although I’m also very much the mother hen type like you!

    • Kathy
      March 13, 2015

      Thank you Jo. That is so sweet of you to say that. I am a very proud mother hen! :)

  • hydrochicSara
    March 13, 2015

    While we still have younger kids, with the oldest being only 18, and I do not want to rush this wonderful period of all of us together away, I think it is great to be at the point where you can breath easy and be at the stage you are in. You have a beautiful family- enjoy in the best of health.

    • Kathy
      March 13, 2015

      It is a lovely stage of our lives now that our kids are independent of us, but still very much involved in the family. Both of them phone, text and drop in to see us all the time. Sometimes we joke and say that we see more of them now than we ever did! Yes enjoy your chickens while they are still in the coop :)

  • Michelle Weaver (@pinkypoinker)
    March 13, 2015

    You have a right to be extremely proud of your accomplished kids Kathy. They’re both very good looking too I must say. I have two I still worry about but I’m beginning to feel what you’re describing in dribs and drabs. My eldest three are exhibiting some common sense at last although they’re still a little tight when it comes time for their shout.

    P.S. I love your inspirational quotes (you know what I’m talking about) so keep them coming.

    • Kathy
      March 13, 2015

      Thanks Pinky. I am an extremely proud Mum. It takes a while but finally when your kids seek out your company and advice you realise that you have done your job. I love this stage of my life! My kids think I’m a bit over-the-top with the inspirational quotes too, but I do try to keep them light and I love the funny ones or the ones about ageing. I was not offended in the least with your blog. I found it very humorous. xx

  • Rae Hilhorst
    March 13, 2015

    That’s how we roll here to, it’s great isn’t it. I count myself lucky to have created and reared these great individuals that we can be proud of xxx

    • Kathy
      March 13, 2015

      Yep isn’t it just great when you can sit back and say “I’ve done my job as a parent”? I know one of children recently got engaged so that must be very exciting for you. Great job Rae! xx

  • Renaissance Renee
    March 13, 2015

    As a parent of an adult daughter who has been too ill to work for the past two+ years; who has special dietary needs and who sometimes needs me to drive her to appointments; I have yet to experience the freedom of kids flying the coop. There are many many other parents in similar situations. Lets spare a thought for them.

    • Kathy
      March 14, 2015

      I agree that there are some parents that never experience the empty nest for one reason or another and I am not without empathy for these parents. Our children will always be our children regardless of their age or situation. I am living proof of that as I visit my 83 year old mum every week and she still hugs me as though I am her litle child! Thank you for dropping by my blog.

  • Janet aka Middle Aged Mama
    March 14, 2015

    My kids are about half way there. Miss 18 regularly shouts me for a coffee when we meet up, which is so sweet (and I shout her the other times).

    • Kathy
      March 14, 2015

      Yes Janet you are well on your way to having independent kids. You should be very proud. :)

  • budgettraveltalk
    March 23, 2015

    Our kids are independent (but one does still live at home). Financially they are on the right track and hardly ever ask for loans and when they do the money is paid back promptly. We have always charged board for expenses at home and I think that is very important for them. I haven’t reached the stage of them offering to pay for any drinks/meals, or their house/room getting tidied in my honour, lol. But I do agree Kathy that this is a mighty fine time of life.

    • Kathy
      March 23, 2015

      I am happy to hear that you charge board as it appears a bit of a trend these days that parents aren’t charging their kids anything to stay at home, even though they are earning an income. Some parents are under the impression that they are helping their kids financially by not charging them, but I feel they are not teaching them financial independence. It is our time to shine and finally have some spare cash to enjoy our golden years! May I congratulate you on making your kids independent.

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