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Words of wisdom from my mother

  • May 6, 2013
  • By 50 Shades
  • 22 Comments

 

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The best thing I learned from my mother.

“Get an education and make your own way in the world”

My mum gave up her nursing training when she got married at the tender age of 18 years and she always regretted her decision (which was pretty commonplace back in the 1950’s).  She had five children in quick succession and was unable to return to fulltime work until we were all at school.  She was a stay-at-home mum and spent her days cleaning, cooking and caring for her children.

My father was a hard worker but had a weakness for the ladies.  He continually had affairs with other women during his marriage to my mother for a period spanning 25 years.  My mum had nowhere to go – she was dependent on my dad for everything and had five children to support.

When my mum was around 40 years of age she returned to do her nursing training and obtained employment at the local Aged Care Hospital.  She worked here for many years and I helped out around home taking on chores such as cooking and doing the laundry.  It was a tough time for me as a 13 year old who had just commenced high school, but looking back I understand why my mum had to return to work – she wanted to be financially independent for the first time in her life.

Eventually my parents separated after 25 years of marriage which was devastating for all concerned.  However, at least my mum had a career and was able to stand on her own two feet financially.  She always wanted her two daughters to make something of ourselves and not fall into the trap of getting married too young and giving up our careers.

Fortunately, I did listen to her and I made my own way in the world prior to getting tied down with a husband, home and children.  Now that I have a daughter of my own I continually support her in her chosen career pathway and re-iterate those wise words that my mother said to me many years ago.

 

This is a bloghop! Continue reading posts from Generation Fabulous about what they learned from their mothers by clicking on the links below.

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By 50 Shades, May 6, 2013 Kathy was a 50 something year old when she started up this blog 6 years ago, but has since turned over another decade and is now in her early 60s. She is married with two adult children and lives on the Tweed Coast of New South Wales, Australia. Kathy enjoys living life to the fullest and loves to keep fit and active by maintaining a healthy diet and exercising regularly. Some of her interests include reading, photography, travelling, cooking and blogging! Kathy works part-time as a freelance writer but her real passion is travelling and photographing brilliant destinations both within Australia and overseas and writing about it.
  • 22

50 Shades

Kathy was a 50 something year old when she started up this blog 6 years ago, but has since turned over another decade and is now in her early 60s. She is married with two adult children and lives on the Tweed Coast of New South Wales, Australia. Kathy enjoys living life to the fullest and loves to keep fit and active by maintaining a healthy diet and exercising regularly. Some of her interests include reading, photography, travelling, cooking and blogging! Kathy works part-time as a freelance writer but her real passion is travelling and photographing brilliant destinations both within Australia and overseas and writing about it.

22 Comments
  • Connie Mcleod
    May 6, 2013

    Thanks for sharing. I also believe that all women need to have their own financial independence, regardless of their relationships.

    • Kathy
      May 6, 2013

      They sure do Connie. I couldn’t agree more – having seen first hand how my mum suffered from a loveless marriage to a philandering husband!

  • Karen
    May 6, 2013

    Wise advice indeed, Kathy! I’ve said the same to my daughter, and she seems to have taken it to heart.

    • Kathy
      May 6, 2013

      Karen, we all like to think as mothers that our daughters will heed our advice. I believe we are their first role models in life.

  • Lois Alter Mark
    May 6, 2013

    I’m sorry she had to learn it firsthand but her advice is so wise and so many women still need to hear it. An important story, thanks.

    • Kathy
      May 6, 2013

      Thanks Lois, I think so too. I can’t even begin to imagine how tough it was for her.

  • Judy Thornton
    May 6, 2013

    Hi I completely agree with your Mother’s wise words. However, I do believe it is still up to the individual situation. I know it would have been beneficial for me in some ways as I was married at 18 and gave up my uni degree to become a teacher at the age of 29. I’m 31 now and gave it up to work with my husband in a successful business. However, i sometimes wish I had my own career and identity in life. However, if you have a loving husband then sometimes you can accept this and move on and realise that life has been great.

    • Kathy
      May 6, 2013

      Thanks for your comments. I believe that a career is not every woman’s goal in life. As long as we are doing what makes us happy.

  • Karen D. Austin
    May 6, 2013

    I am sorry about the pain of divorce (it happened with my parents, too), but i am glad to hear that her training as a nurse helped her survive and thrive. Thanks for writing up these details about your mother.

    • Kathy
      May 7, 2013

      Thank you Karen for your comment. It was a very painful chapter in my life when my parents got divorced but life went on and my mother survived. She never re-married but continued to work as a nurse then helped look after her grandchildren as they came along.

  • Ginger Kay
    May 7, 2013

    Your mom sounds like a strong person. I hope the second half of her life was kinder to her than the first.

    • Kathy
      May 7, 2013

      Funnily enough I think she was much more happier living on her own and pursuing her own interests than she was with Dad. She never re-married nor had any relationships with men but was content.

  • Donna Highfill
    May 7, 2013

    What an incredibly strong woman your mother is . . . thank you for sharing her with us!

    • Kathy
      May 7, 2013

      Thank you Donna. Some things are difficult to say sometimes when it comes to those that are nearest and dearest to us. It made me appreciate my mother a lot more and realize the strength she has inside her.

  • Amanda Fox
    May 7, 2013

    That is one bit of advice that I think is so important. You mom was a very smart woman. I tell this to my daughter all the time. Women especially need an education. They need to be able to look after themselves. Love this!

    • Kathy
      May 7, 2013

      Thanks Amanda. I guess to see first hand what my mother endured (with my father) was a lesson in itself. At least at the end of her marriage she was self sufficient and able to make a life for herself without the financial burden that she may otherwise have faced.

  • Pat
    May 7, 2013

    Your mom sounds like a true survivor and certainly, you are made of the same tough stuff.

    • Kathy
      May 8, 2013

      Thanks Pat. I am indeed made out of tough stuff! My mum was not only a good mother but an excellent role model.

  • Helene Cohen Bludman
    May 7, 2013

    What a strong woman your mother was. I truly admire her for persevering through adversity. She was a wonderful role model.

    • Kathy
      May 8, 2013

      Thank you Helene. Yes my mother did persevere to say the least! She certainly opened my eyes to becoming an independent woman.

  • Caryn/The Mid Life Guru
    May 9, 2013

    Your mom is a great example of walking the walk. What a great mentor for you and your daughter.

    • Kathy
      May 9, 2013

      Yes Caryn she certainly did ‘walk the walk’, but I think my Dad broke her heart in the process. I believe deep down she truly loved him. We all learn valuable lessons from our parents.

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